I Am Not

I have learned so so so much since the last time I blogged. I feel like I could come home and give a three hour sermon on everything I've learned so far. I wish everyone could be here learning what I've been learning so far, it's all really cool.

This past week I was at Woodend Camp, near Christchurch. It was an extremely challenging week and one which may co-cabin-leader, Colin said was "Like the harshest boot camp ever."

Tons of thoughts, and stories about that... Dale is giving us Saturday completely off so we can get some rest after the week... Most people are sitting around the fire warming up and Jonas is addicted to Starcraft so he's just playing that on his laptop and there are some guys playing piano, guitar.

Rewinding to two weeks ago, before camp, here are some notes from that week:

THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT
_Matthew 5
Behavior is defined in the heart (and thoughts) not in action. Ex.
We are looters before we actually to the looting. It's the thought that matters. Sinful actions spring from the heart, not the action, so we have to ask God for the heart to change, and not a singular act of sin. Anger, irritation, etc. Is a revelation of what is in the heart. THANK the Lord when it comes out externally, in action, as we can now analyse our thoughts and realize the uncleanness inside of us.

Our desire to please God is the strongest container. We need a relationship with Him or we can't stop our heart from sinning.

What he asks us in The Sermon on the Mount is impossible. He wants us to give up, surrender our lives and follow Him. Let Him flow through us. God is the only permanent solution. We realize the true colours of our heart when we're under pressure. This is when things we usually try to hide, and mask, slip out. This is the Lord showing us what is inside of us. Lose the mask on the heart, do what you think, cleanse the heart.

A metaphor:
Life is like driving against the flow of traffic on a highway. We may be able to dodge the screaming cars for a short while, but in the end we will crash and burn. We can't have God in the passengers seat while we take the wheel. We have to abandon our life, our thoughts, surrender to God. Let him drive. Christ is the beginning of the law, and the end. Jesus did not come to earth to set an example. He came to make His home in our hearts. “We have to leave our religion behind and come to Christ. Religion is just an example:

“This is what you have to do.” We have to step out of that and into God. So God lives through us.”
_Werener Schreiber, our first lecturer.

Interesting concept...

_Matthew 18:23-25
In this passage, a servant who had a debt in the millions was spared by his master. This same servant was then asked by a man who owed him a few dollars if the servant would cancel his debt, the servant strangled him. We are like this servant sometimes. We have no concept of HOW MUCH we have been forgiven.
We should respond to others with the same mercy that has been shown to us.

1. We either exist FOR GOD
or
2. God exists FOR US

We walk God on a leash. We talk but don't listen. We give him a to-do list.We make God work for us, ask Him for stuff we want instead of listening to Him, surrendering our bodies which He created for Him to use. God gave us everything. Our eyes, our hands, our job, our money. God doesn't owe us anything.
God gave us everything. We owe God everything.

Glory
God is into himself. The world revolves around Him. But he has to be full of himself, he's God, he's love, he has no choice. If He wasn't self-centered, he wouldn't be God.
“I AM the Lord, that is MY NAME.”
_Isaiah 42:8

God won't give His glory to any other.
God created us so we can be part of His story. He created paradise for us. He created us for Him.
God has the starring role in His story. Adam and Eve wanted a starring role, they tried to steal some of His glory. His prize possesion, human, wanted some of His glory. We made competition. We attempted to hi-jack some of His glory. We betrayed Him.
We think our lives will be better if we're in the middle.

But we were designed to REFLECT GOD. We are the mirrors, not the lights. We were designed to be the reflector, not the source.
We treat God like a spare tire. We use God as a means to get what we want.
We want to do our own thing, and if we get in trouble, then we call on Him to help us out. We put God in the rear view mirror.
God should be our goal, and the means to our goal.
He died for the traderous race. If there were any doubts who should receive all the glory, it was there on the cross, after God sent His son to the earth to die for us.

The one rule in history:
GOD gets ALL of the glory.

I AM

I am...
the center.
In control.
The same always.
The creator.
If He is I AM, than we must be I Am Not.
“There's 6 billion people on earth, you gotta get over yourself.”
“We are not even as big as a grain of sand in the scope of the universe.”

“I am not but I know I Am.”
I know I Am.

When we get out of the center and align ourselves so we perfectly mirror God, we become happier.
That's because that's what God designed us to do.
Let the nails pierce our heart every day.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

These lessons helped me immensly during the week at camp where we had to deal with kids ages 9-10 who came from bad situations wher their parents neglected them or kids who had restraining orders... that sort of thing. Just the trouble makers pretty much.
Before the camp started we had two days of training with the staff. It was a much needed and I learned a lot from the staff. Their heart for the kids is just amazing. The top woman in charge was named "Amy Boss" and she was great at preparing us. "There's no such thing as a bad kid, just bad behavior."
I was in a cabin with 9 other boys, along with my co-leader, Colin. The first day was absolute mayem. It was the day in which we had to set boundaries and earn respect of our kids. Most of the day was just shouting and disciplining and trying to show love to the kids despite how much disobeying was going on. The first night was pretty crazy. It took and hour and a half to get the kids to stop mouthing off and get to bed. Needless to say there was very little sleep the first night.
Day two was a huge improvement but there was still plenty of mayem going on. The rest of the week was pretty much the same as day two in that kids opened up a bit more and there was a bit more good behavior. Lots of verbal fighting amongst the kids all week though.
Despite all this, when it came to singing praise, the kids were all into it. We had huge actions to every song and the kids were really enthusiastic in participating.
This time proved to be a great learning experience and all week I had to depend on God to live through me because I wasn't capable of managing everything that was going on.
"You can't. He never said you could. He can and always said He would."
_Major Ian Thomas, Capernwray founder