Say What?

First off, thanks guys for all the comments! I love reading them and it's like my only connection to some of you so thanks for those.

It's a great sunny Saturday afternoon and I've just come in from having a picnic lunch outside with the crew, and playing some volleyball on a court that Joseph, the good-lookin' janitor, made us on the second level of the property here. Now I should get on to doing a Bible assignment, but before hand, here's something I wrote up a couple days ago about this week:

Here are the highlights.

On Tuesday we had a guys night and that was an incredible time. We went over to a friend of Dale's who owned a huge property. At his house we drove a beat up car with smashed out windows (but with an amazing engine) around a dirt track on the back part of his property. (He had a huge field for his cattle, chickens, goats as well.) The first time we got driven around by the owner, Matt, who was an expert at driving the car and doing all sorts of tricky things like super huge drifts on the dirt, 360s... the car handled well. So we got two laps of that fun with him and then we had the opportunity to drive around the track ourselves. (With him in the passenger seat this time.) A couple guys went and some were great at maximizing the car's potential but there were a few stalls when the car was driven into the bushes that surrounded the track. (The car had standard transmission. It was usually just kept in second gear and they'd whip around on that.) So after one of the times where we all went to push the car our of the bushes, and to get it started again, the guys talked me into driving. So it was my first time driving standard! The owner took me through a few of the things to look out for on the course and told me how to do some of the tricky stuff.
The area where we all watch is also the area where all the drifts, 360s, tricky stuff is done, the rest of the course is basically about going fast, except for one corner where we have to slow down. So the owner told me when we approach the main area, where tricks are done, to go on the far left and when I turn the corner, crank the wheel super fast to the right and hit the gas pedal to the floor. This was going to get the car drifting at the very least, or even better, making a 360 in the dirt. The 4 guys before me all were able to do it with varying degrees of success. So after I figured out the clutch I got going and started whipping around the track. When I reached the watching area I got really excited and floored it THEN started cranking the wheel. The result was "traumatic", "amazing" and "scary" as the guys put it. Apparently I came within 6 feet of the guys and the truck which transported us to the track. I ended up "drifting at 90 degrees" and careend into a huge bush. Jonas, who went prior to me also ran straight into a bush in a different area and we actually had to get the truck and some rope and man-power to yank it out so I was thinking the same thing would have to happen to me. But once I entered the bush since I'd still had my foot floored on the gas, I shot straight out up back onto the track for the second lap. It was amazing. Later when the guys asked me what must have been going through my head when that was happening I said "nothing." Really, I had no idea I came that close to hitting them, all I remember was that I knew I was going straight into the bush and that I hadn't followed the directions properly or else I wouldn't be heading in the wrong direction.
Next time I reached that area, the owner told me to come to a complete stop and reminded me:
Steer hard first THEN floor it. He was obviously really serious because he had just seen me almost run over the whole crew, but apparently the guys who saw me getting instructions from the car said I was laughing. It was heeps of fun. Needless to say that was the talk of the next few days... how I was able to drift at that angle, my recklessness, and how I almost nailed them.

After the paddock racing we went back to the house and had steak and then when it got dark, we went possum hunting. I was with two Alaskans, Robert and Ben, and Bryan (from Alberta). Our driver/hunting-expert, Matt, took us around a mountain. When he saw any red eyes, whoever had the gun would hop out of the car and would try to gun it down. (We had a shotgun.) Bryan went first and he nailed one possum out of a tree, and he was really happy. After a long time of searching Ben shot two down. We were on private property, so there were barbed-wire fences everywhere, so we'd be hopping over them into the trees looking for the dead possums. That was the funnest part for me, because I didn't end up getting a chance to shoot. (Neither did Robert.) I wasn't really that keen on shooting so I was alright with that. On the two that Ben shot we went hiking up a steep-ish hill looking for the possums. The only way we could see anything was our driver who was holding a spotlight. For awhile down the hill I held the dead possums while Ben hopped back over the barbed-wire fences. We'd all hold them by the tail very triumphantly. (These possums are a lot cuter than the ones in North America. These look like miniature bears with long tails.) We got back to the Crossing at 11pm all muddy while the girls had already fallen asleep after their night of fondue-eating, foot massages, fancy dresses and chick flicks for their girls night.

On Wednesday, after a work day of working in the kitchen cleaning everything imaginable (and I thought some of the jobs I did at home were pointless) we had a good stir fry which I made along with Cara and our head cook, Sheryl, we had another indoor soccer night at the high school. (Becoming a tradition.) Our lecturer for the week, Richard Neville, from Christchurch, in his 40s/50s, came with us and he was the most amazing goalie ever. The team I was on consisted of: Jordan, Kelsey, Cara, Sheryl and Richard. Cara and Sheryl don't play soccer but they were serviceable. Jordan and I were the two main threats and we were always looking for eachother. We both had 6/7 goals each, in a losing cause. Against us, was the "janitor"/events co-ordinator, Joseph, Joel, Jonas (triple Js... they've formed a pretty tight bond), Amber and Hanna. It was a really even match, something like 19-17. After an hour and a half I was down with cramps all over the legs and by the two hour mark Jordan was cramping too so we kinda dwindled at the end. Today I bought banana's though so I should be good if we play again. But Richard was the MVP. For about 30 minutes, nothing got by him. He was fearless, going down on the ground, looking like a hockey goalie, taking balls off the head, and smacking the ball down to the other end. Richard was also a great lecturer, which I'll get to in a bit.

Meals continue to cause major laugh attacks for me. So far I've had a couple of drinks and desserts go out my nose. The details:

Laugh attack #1.) Wednesday dessert: (We only have dessert twice a week, so this is a big deal.) Joseph came to the table and asked Robert (both Americans) if he remembered what John McCains slogan was.
Robert: In the movie Die Hard?
Joseph: No, in the election.
*Butterscotch pudding out the nose*

Laugh attack #2.) Thursday dinner: Pizza. Michael takes a bite of pizza and says something that sounds like shay. Joel catches on and after each bite he says shay as well. I'm already at this point, but the pinnacle is after a 20 times of hearing this word when I ask Michael how this word is spelled.
Michael: S-A-Y
*Water out out the mouth*
Needless to say I wasn't expecting that spelling. Turns out he's just saying the word "say..." in a really interesting way.

Laugh attack #3.) Thursday night lecture: We're going around the class reading a passage from Genesis and it's Michael's turn to read a verse. (He's right before me.) After everyone had just read the verse normally, he says his verse with overwhelming enthusiasm that gets me going, BUT it's my turn, so I have to calm down quickly, and I manage to get through all the words, except two. Bryan, infront of me shouts "TWO MORE WORDS! Almost there" while laughing and I mangage to say "near" but even then, I start laughing again. Eventually I was able to say "Sodom" in fragments, and the reading continued. Good thing Richard, like Werner, has a sense of humour and joined in on the laughter.

Laugh attack #4.) Saturday lunch: As we're discussing all the times I've laughed this week (apparently Joel is keeping a tally of all the times I laugh in lectures... it's up to 15 after 3 weeks of lectures), Colin asks me if I've ever had food go through my nose as I'm laughing. He asks me this just as I'm drinking water, and water goes through the nose and I'm gone again. Although everyone finds it funny how much I laugh (Robert: Where have you been all of my life?) it's Colin who finds my laughing the funniest. He goes on to tell me he asked this because his girlfriend, Faith, once had food go through her nose and it was painful. (Maybe Heather or Rebekah remember this?)

The more important matters... what I learnt this week... those will be coming soon in another blog post.

Richard's lectures this week were on Genesis. Going through some of the stories at a deeper level.

The month in song

I'm slacking a bit and so the weeks in song will be actual songs that I seemed to play a lot during each of the first four weeks. Here is the list:

Week One
Sufjan Stevens: Vito's Ordination Song
- I don't know how it came up, but after the first church service I attended in New Zealand (which are really cool, by the way... they've got a really small little sanctuary and the praise team is composed of older (30-40s) and younger (as young as 7-8) people so it's really cool. They sing all the same songs we do, pretty much, just to note) I really felt like listening to this song over and over.
Listen

Week Two
Why?: Eskimo Snow
- Just love the lyrics to this song. I love the way Yoni Wolf (Why?) writes. Love the part about bearing fruit at the end, and his struggles with that.

All of my words for sadness
Like eskimo snow on unmanned crosses all
Planted in threes in a field for living trees
Are hummed as prayers in secret
and sung through speakers in rooms for people to hear it
Even when I'm wasted and numb
With the words for good wine on a philistine's tongue

And I'm under something black
and thicker than a sheet for ghosts
in the first feet of snow
That old, that old cloud's yield
On the crosses on the chests of dead soldiers in a field
and I'm, I'm still here
Bearing my watery fruits if fruits at all
And I'm still here
Barely understanding what truth that rarely calls
Listen

Week Three
Yo La Tengo: More Stars Than There Are In Heaven
- The trip back from camp in the van was great. I had the front bench to myself so I lied down and looked at the window. Saw the city lights of Christchurch bounce off the ocean, and later, saw a sky of ten thousand stars, all so clearly visible and I thought of this song. The mood of this song fits perfectly with that night. At one point, the driver, Hanna came to a sudden stop and I flew off the bench onto the ground, it caused quite a laugh. "I didn't know you didn't have your seatbelt on!" - Hanna
Listen

Week Four:
Switchfoot: Dare You To Move
- There was a really incredible skit that half of the Capernwray clan put on at the camp I wasn't at, and the song that played in the background was this one. Great song.
Listen

I Am Not

I have learned so so so much since the last time I blogged. I feel like I could come home and give a three hour sermon on everything I've learned so far. I wish everyone could be here learning what I've been learning so far, it's all really cool.

This past week I was at Woodend Camp, near Christchurch. It was an extremely challenging week and one which may co-cabin-leader, Colin said was "Like the harshest boot camp ever."

Tons of thoughts, and stories about that... Dale is giving us Saturday completely off so we can get some rest after the week... Most people are sitting around the fire warming up and Jonas is addicted to Starcraft so he's just playing that on his laptop and there are some guys playing piano, guitar.

Rewinding to two weeks ago, before camp, here are some notes from that week:

THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT
_Matthew 5
Behavior is defined in the heart (and thoughts) not in action. Ex.
We are looters before we actually to the looting. It's the thought that matters. Sinful actions spring from the heart, not the action, so we have to ask God for the heart to change, and not a singular act of sin. Anger, irritation, etc. Is a revelation of what is in the heart. THANK the Lord when it comes out externally, in action, as we can now analyse our thoughts and realize the uncleanness inside of us.

Our desire to please God is the strongest container. We need a relationship with Him or we can't stop our heart from sinning.

What he asks us in The Sermon on the Mount is impossible. He wants us to give up, surrender our lives and follow Him. Let Him flow through us. God is the only permanent solution. We realize the true colours of our heart when we're under pressure. This is when things we usually try to hide, and mask, slip out. This is the Lord showing us what is inside of us. Lose the mask on the heart, do what you think, cleanse the heart.

A metaphor:
Life is like driving against the flow of traffic on a highway. We may be able to dodge the screaming cars for a short while, but in the end we will crash and burn. We can't have God in the passengers seat while we take the wheel. We have to abandon our life, our thoughts, surrender to God. Let him drive. Christ is the beginning of the law, and the end. Jesus did not come to earth to set an example. He came to make His home in our hearts. “We have to leave our religion behind and come to Christ. Religion is just an example:

“This is what you have to do.” We have to step out of that and into God. So God lives through us.”
_Werener Schreiber, our first lecturer.

Interesting concept...

_Matthew 18:23-25
In this passage, a servant who had a debt in the millions was spared by his master. This same servant was then asked by a man who owed him a few dollars if the servant would cancel his debt, the servant strangled him. We are like this servant sometimes. We have no concept of HOW MUCH we have been forgiven.
We should respond to others with the same mercy that has been shown to us.

1. We either exist FOR GOD
or
2. God exists FOR US

We walk God on a leash. We talk but don't listen. We give him a to-do list.We make God work for us, ask Him for stuff we want instead of listening to Him, surrendering our bodies which He created for Him to use. God gave us everything. Our eyes, our hands, our job, our money. God doesn't owe us anything.
God gave us everything. We owe God everything.

Glory
God is into himself. The world revolves around Him. But he has to be full of himself, he's God, he's love, he has no choice. If He wasn't self-centered, he wouldn't be God.
“I AM the Lord, that is MY NAME.”
_Isaiah 42:8

God won't give His glory to any other.
God created us so we can be part of His story. He created paradise for us. He created us for Him.
God has the starring role in His story. Adam and Eve wanted a starring role, they tried to steal some of His glory. His prize possesion, human, wanted some of His glory. We made competition. We attempted to hi-jack some of His glory. We betrayed Him.
We think our lives will be better if we're in the middle.

But we were designed to REFLECT GOD. We are the mirrors, not the lights. We were designed to be the reflector, not the source.
We treat God like a spare tire. We use God as a means to get what we want.
We want to do our own thing, and if we get in trouble, then we call on Him to help us out. We put God in the rear view mirror.
God should be our goal, and the means to our goal.
He died for the traderous race. If there were any doubts who should receive all the glory, it was there on the cross, after God sent His son to the earth to die for us.

The one rule in history:
GOD gets ALL of the glory.

I AM

I am...
the center.
In control.
The same always.
The creator.
If He is I AM, than we must be I Am Not.
“There's 6 billion people on earth, you gotta get over yourself.”
“We are not even as big as a grain of sand in the scope of the universe.”

“I am not but I know I Am.”
I know I Am.

When we get out of the center and align ourselves so we perfectly mirror God, we become happier.
That's because that's what God designed us to do.
Let the nails pierce our heart every day.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

These lessons helped me immensly during the week at camp where we had to deal with kids ages 9-10 who came from bad situations wher their parents neglected them or kids who had restraining orders... that sort of thing. Just the trouble makers pretty much.
Before the camp started we had two days of training with the staff. It was a much needed and I learned a lot from the staff. Their heart for the kids is just amazing. The top woman in charge was named "Amy Boss" and she was great at preparing us. "There's no such thing as a bad kid, just bad behavior."
I was in a cabin with 9 other boys, along with my co-leader, Colin. The first day was absolute mayem. It was the day in which we had to set boundaries and earn respect of our kids. Most of the day was just shouting and disciplining and trying to show love to the kids despite how much disobeying was going on. The first night was pretty crazy. It took and hour and a half to get the kids to stop mouthing off and get to bed. Needless to say there was very little sleep the first night.
Day two was a huge improvement but there was still plenty of mayem going on. The rest of the week was pretty much the same as day two in that kids opened up a bit more and there was a bit more good behavior. Lots of verbal fighting amongst the kids all week though.
Despite all this, when it came to singing praise, the kids were all into it. We had huge actions to every song and the kids were really enthusiastic in participating.
This time proved to be a great learning experience and all week I had to depend on God to live through me because I wasn't capable of managing everything that was going on.
"You can't. He never said you could. He can and always said He would."
_Major Ian Thomas, Capernwray founder